I get it now. I truly understand what President Hansen meant when he spoke to us once about Diligence- he said that until he was done, he was going to work hard, be diligent, rely on the Lord. And when his call was finished, he would drive home, collapse in the driveway and crawl into bed and sleep. Pure exhaustion, and that's what I've felt a lot of this last week.
Enduring to the end is a hard principle of the gospel, it means doing hard things for a long time, and you can't give up or give in, especially as the finish line is in sight.
But at the same time, there really is never a finish line. There is no end until Eternal Life with our Father in Heaven. and that's why i do what i do. That's why I endure to the end. It's why I've waken up at or beforeevery day for the last 18 months. Its why i pray and seek guidance and inspiration from the Lord. Its why i sacrifice, even though it really doesn't feel like a sacrifice at all. Its why we let people feed us till we're sick hahaha
its why we knock on doors even when we know they will get slammed in our faces
I love my Savior Jesus Christ and i know He lives. without a shadow of a doubt, because i wouldn't have gotten through these last 18 months without him and my Heavenly Father supporting me the entire time. In the moment you cant feel the help, but i know I'm not strong enough to do this on my own- and by this, it includes my entire life.
Recap of this week, in short :)
Also, this week was gone so fast, i hardly had time to blink. its SCARY...
Wed was s super busy day with visiting Relief Society Presidents, getting and contacting referrals, and we had like 3 lessons, which is great for this area!
I honestly don't know what to say in this last email- i'll write next week about my last week as a missionary. its weird i haven't freaked out or anything yet, i think its because I'm still partially in denial, and will probably hit hard when i finish packing and everythingand at church . But talk to you next week- i'll probably still be a missionary when i email out, i'll just be at home. and depressed. and crying. a lot.
Fight a Good Fight. Keep the Faith. Keep on Keepin on, and Go out and be the answer to someones prayers :)
♥ Sister Johnson
i still will claim the title of sister until the second i'm released, loudly and proudly. its my first name :)